Day 38

In all the excitement the last few days, I maybe forgot to write about the Two O'Clock Wasp.

About a week ago I found the Two O'Clock Wasp waiting for me in the Emergency Command and Control Vehicle when I came back from my lunch break. He informed me on behalf of himself and his employer, Johnny Daubins, aka Big Muds, aka The Mud Dauber, that I had a nice place here, and it would be a shame if anything happened to it.

I responded by finding the biggest plastic container I could hold in one hand, and dragging Two O'Clock on out to the street. I thought about dispatching him then and there, but I thought, no, he's worth more to me alive. I sent him off to tell Big Muds what I thought of his offer.

After that, every day, right about two, here comes Two O'Clock Wasp trying to shake me down. He'd come beat at the window screens, trying to make trouble. I'd flick the screen, and that would give him something to think about, but he'd come right back. By three he'd get bored, but two o'clock the day after, there he was. Couple a' days later, I'm sitting there, minding my own business, and I see he's inside again, measuring the place for a new rug.

I wasn't going to stand for that, was I? I get the big bowl out again, and one more time I escort him from the premises. But this time he's taking it personally. So I did something I'm not proud of. I set the bowl down on a table top, Two O'Clock still inside, cursing my mother, and I set a couple of bricks down on it, so it won't blow away. And I figure I'll let him out, but not just yet. That night, though, things came up, and I might'a forgot to spring him loose. The next day I figure I probably missed my chance. I glanced in and he didn't look like he was moving. Felt a little bad, but he chose his business, is the way I see it.

Next couple of days I'd look at the bowl and think I should check a little closer, but maybe I didn't want to know till things were certain. Not me at my bravest, I'll admit it.

Sunday morning I get to feeling my conscience. Start thinking I should give him proper rites at least. I go to the bowl, just for a look, and what do you know, Two O'Clock gets up and starts trying to go at me, throwing epithets every which way. Maybe I can't say I didn't blame him. But honor's a thing where I come from. If he could take three days in the bowl and come out cursing, I could be moved to give him his walking papers. I tied a string to the bowl to pull it off the table without having to get into a confrontation. He came out roaring, but I hopped inside before he saw me, and he went straight up in the air.

I figured he'd learned.

I figured wrong. Two O'Clock Monday, and guess who's back?

Well, shove it Toozie. I fixed up the crack in the screen. You ain't comin' in here again. Tell Big Muds to come down himself, if he wants to negotiate. Bowl's big enough for the two o' ya.